Available for everyone, funded by readers. Pub gardens and other public places such as parks still qualify as acceptable dating venues. DON'T MISSBBC Breakfast row erupts as Raab hits back at Stayt over Burnham - VIDEOLancashire Tier 3: What are Tier 3 rules in Lancashire? The individual in a business setting most likely to screw you over. Bonus: everything I create is uncopyrighted and freely accessible — I even coded (& open-sourced) this site itself, my gift to you. Support bubbles may only include one household mixing with another single-adult household. I knew how he'd react. Inclusive language is a great direct step to creating a safe space for everyone, but it also has a powerful indirect effect. When one person in a relationship is struggling with a serious issue for a long time, it can feel overwhelming. UK drivers risk COVID-19 with major mistak... Coronavirus map LIVE: Wales readies for FULL lockdown as cases surge, Dr Hilary Jones explains why Boris' Tier lockdown plan 'will not work'. I bet you'll also dig these other things I made: Why I say “partner” instead of boyfriend or girlfriend. Peter Down, chair of Bradford Campaign for Real Ale, said pub workers would have trouble identifying whether or not people reside in the same household. Home of the Daily and Sunday Express. I wrote Defining LGBTQ+ to give you a head start on all the vocab. And although I use it, it makes me feel a little queasy. Here’s how to navigate that without getting burnt out. If you like what I'm creating here, you'll love my book A Guide to Gender. BBC Breakfast row erupts as Raab hits back at Stayt over Burnham. First published on Thu 16 May 2013 13.30 BST. And he did. When he asked about my future plans, I said I would be staying in the city for some time. A gay man, on the other hand, will likely feel uncomfortable if you ask him if he has a girlfriend. What did "he" do for a living? Taking the initiative to use an inclusive word like partner is tantamount to pinning a button to my chest that says “I care.” This goes for everyone, straight, bi-, gay, lesbian, or otherwise. When a question like this is asked, an educational opportunity is presented. Saying partner makes lesbian, bi-, and gay people feel safer around me. Language is a effective way to allow others, particularly people who don’t know you very well, that you fall into the former group, the group that can be trusted. Language is powerful, and as little as changing one word in your vocabulary can have a dramatic affect on those around you. All rights reserved. I don't make any secret out of the fact that I'm in a relationship with a woman. The spokesman confirmed couples not in support bubbles and living apart could meet outside but should "follow social distancing and the hand, face, space rules". It's only available as an e-book (for now). A straight man may raise an eyebrow at the term partner instead of hearing you ask about his girlfriend, but that’s about it. - EXPLAINERLondon lockdown: How new Tier 2 rules impact your staycation holidays - ANALYSIS. Where might I and my "boyfriend" want to move next? In fact, he left the gender of my partner completely open. The second tier combines national measures with some additional curbs on the general public. Partner is a recognized word of safety and concern within the LGBTA community. Under the tier, people cannot meet with other households indoors unless they have formed a support bubble. "Well, my [here we go] partner got funding for a PhD," I said, fear growing over what would come next. He hadn't assumed I was heterosexual. READ MORE: How many support bubbles can I have? As he was processing my application, something that felt like it took forever, he asked all sorts about me and my life. So, really, whether or not your girlfriend is cheating, it's a bad sign that you've come to this point anyway. I'm the author of A Guide to Gender: The Social Justice Advocate's Handbook, and I was featured in Katie Couric's NatGeo documentary "Gender Revolution". Did we also plan on getting a dog? London lockdown start time: When does London go into Tier 2? But the permission does not extend to inside spaces, currently exclusive to single households and bubbles only. We will use your email address only for sending you newsletters. Yet "partner" is the word I choose to use when I tread neutral ground with someone I don't know; when I want to talk about my relationship without outing myself. As I finally left, bank account papers in hand, I felt strangely in need of a shower, like someone had seen a bit too much of me. Express. Oftentimes, intentionally using inclusive language, like saying partner instead of boyfriend/girlfriend, will create an opportunity for a discussion about why you use such language. And we can keep this site thriving thanks to IPM’s 32 patrons. You can explain what you said, highlighting your commitment to achieving social justice–something we still have a long way to go to achieve. Instead he continued by dropping my "boyfriend" into the conversation. One of the toughest things about identifying with a targeted group is knowing who you can confide in and who you might want to avoid, at least until the times change a bit. But Downing Street said Tier 2 restrictions meant that while couples living apart could see each other outdoors, social distancing restrictions meant they would not be able to have physical contact. As I mentioned before, this happens to me quite often. Hi! Is Blackpool in Tier 3? Using the term “partner”, particularly when inquiring about stranger’s partner (“how long have you been with your partner?” instead of “how long have you been with your girlfriend?”), avoids the heteronormative assumption that the guy you are asking has a girlfriend/wife or the gal you are asking has a boyfriend/husband. If a person is straight, no harm done. I created It's Pronounced Metrosexual in 2011. What happens if a couple comes in?". I was setting up a bank account after moving to the UK from Sweden and the man helping me was not only terribly sleazy, but also an absolute lad trying to be all matey with me too. Can I still travel to Blackpool? It's only available as an e-book (for now). The worst. "How do they know people coming into their premises are a single household or a social bubble? I pretended I didn't hear the gender specific pronouns and continued to carefully refer to my girlfriend as "they", feeling myself die a little inside as I crept further and further back into the closet. Can you have more than one? He had no interest in her gender, he just continued asking about her research – and the feeling was phenomenal. I write everything here and doodle the doodles myself. Can you see your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner in Tier 2? These hotspots have varying case levels, and officials have implemented a tiered response system which can tighten or loosen measures depending on severity. Asked why an exemption for "established relationships" was not written into the law for those in Tiers 2 and 3, he added: "Because the purpose of the measures we've put in place is to break the chain of transmission between households and the scientific advice is that there is greatest transmission of the virus indoors.". Lancashire Tier 3: What are Tier 3 rules in Lancashire? The Prime Minister's official spokesman said: "The rules on household mixing in Tier 2 set out that you should mix with your own household only unless you have formed a support bubble and that obviously does apply to some couples. I co-authored Unlocking the Magic of Facilitation with Meg Bolger to help you teach everything you read here to others. Bella Qvist: I tend to refer to my girlfriend as my partner, but I know I'm using it to avoid revealing my sexuality and can't help feeling cowardly Almost two years on I was serving one of my favourite regular customers, a 30-something academic, in the cafe where I work. Every time I've used the p-word since, my mind goes back to this day. They can also include one household and a single adult with children. And what did I think of that other bank employee over there, would I ever have guessed that he was gay? So I mentioned my "partner", hoping he'd stop asking about my house, my career and my weekend plans. One particularly awful experience with the word first scarred me. And of course, now bank lad had some fuel on his fire he continued to excitedly quiz me about my girlfriend, proper bonding with a real life lesbian – I could tell how he was bursting to get down the pub to tell his friends. I could hardly believe it and so I hesitated before answering him with a big smile, happily telling him about what she does. The physical feeling of relief was immense. The following areas are currently under Tier 2 measures: These areas will enter Tier 2 lockdown on October 17: See today's front and back pages, download the newspaper, The Government's tier system introduces three levels of restrictions, with the first the least invasive and the third the most. Let me explain the three main reasons why I have replaced boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife with partner. Rather, your partner is always consistent, a good indication that he’ll be the same person years from now. Coronavirus restrictions across the UK have taken a new, regional form as the Government uses its "whack-a-mole" strategy to protect people in localised hotspots. It's still important … A gay man, on the other hand, will likely feel uncomfortable if you ask him if he has a girlfriend. London lockdown: How new Tier 2 rules impact your staycation holidays. Your girlfriend's feelings for you might have kept her from telling you to your face, to avoid the pain of the break-up. Could driving be banned? Please see our Privacy Notice for details of your data protection rights. © 2020 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. Sometimes I just want to get on with business without rubbing private information in people's faces and the fact is that no matter how often I do it, the act of coming out to someone never gets easier or less nerve-racking – so I say "partner". to help you teach everything you read here to others. Can I see my boyfriend, girlfriend or partner in Tier 2? He hadn't assumed I had a boyfriend. The word to me has a mature yet cowardly feel to it; I know I'm using it to avoid revealing my sexuality. Taking the initiative to use an inclusive word like partner is tantamount to pinning a button to my chest that says “I care.” This goes for everyone, straight, bi-, gay, lesbian, or otherwise. His face dropped and a look of confusion was soon swapped for one of total glee, telling me that I didn't look like a lesbian – meaning this as a compliment; how sweet of him.